You haven’t had IN A MONTH! Sometimes... longer than that... I don’t know about you girls... But I, us MEN, get very, very QUIET! And you do and say things that you normally wouldn’t do.
So you go to a bar... or a place of worship... you’re about to explode when you see her. She’s absolutely gorgeous. You have only one thing, ONE THING on your mind... Better not fuck it up... So you tap her on the shoulder, MISTAKE #1, and say: “I’M LOOKING FOR SOME MEAT!” That USUALLY doesn’t work... So you try again... You say, “I love your MOUTH, and what it can do... But I can’t decide... “WHICH ONE I’LL CHOOSE!” Or you can say, “Your hips CAN FEED AN ARMY!” Or you can say, “You better firm up your ass... YOU’RE GOING TO USE IT!” Or you can always say, NEXT! And you can say, "I love those legs and do you know what I would do with those legs... Put them on a table, salt them and eat them"
So you try a different tack, (French accent), “I have scars and sores on my body... DO YOU WANT TO SEE THEM?”
NOW, you have her attention, so you whisper in her ear, so gently, so sweetly, “I know how to find your G-SPOT... with
DRY ICE AND RAZOR BLADES AND POP ROCKS!”
And with THAT, you break the ice!
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